Last week i lost my job.   Not a huge surprise as i had a feeling it was going to happen due to lack of work.  When it did happen, i still went through the shock and surprise which i guess is natural.   However rather than panicking and trying to think how i'm going to pay rent and bills etc....my response has been more..casual and beneficial.

September was gonna be a ME month.  After a hectic summer i was gonna stay in, and just immerse myself in my interests.   Losing the job makes it that much easier!   True it wasn't what i had in mind when i said i need "me" time....but i digress.

I've been getting back into writing.  I've always diddled with it in the past, start writing something but it never gets finished.   This time i figured i have nothing to lost, & plenty of time.  I'm in the process of writing a story, that i'm actually gonna send off to Marvel STudios.   Yes its more of a screenplay story than a novel story (though the idea's are flowing lately on that too).

Along with my writing, i've been blessed with a new relationship.  I have a bf.   He doesn't live in my city unfortunately, however its only like a 2 hr drive away.   Odd isn't it?  Lose a job, get a bf, get the creative juices flowing, and possible a future roomie as well!

Sometimes the things that happen to use aren't necessarily what we want.   A grim reminder that the forces that some claim to control, can NEVER be controlled.  The best we can do is influence.   However our destiny is tied in with what we need, and not what we want.

I've noticed that in any spell, or request i make @ my altar, more and more i'm asking for things to happen that i NEED to happen, to help me find my true path.  Suffice to say i have no idea where this will take me, and i feel uncomfortable with not knowing how my future will pan out.   Mind you though, its not like i knew before hand, i only knew what i wanted my future to be like.

Where i go now, as i realize, is up to me.   Its not my actions or re-actions which will define my future, but my willpower, and commitment to becoming more than what i am.  This will pull back the curtain and allow me better understand my role in this world.  What role i'll take.....i look forward to learning.

Dreams are a gateway; of that i have no doubt.

A gate what to what however?  To the subconscience mind, or perhaps as a hotline to the "otherside".  Perhaps its just a jumble of daily activities processed in a "tv" kinda of way that my mind will make sense of....kinda.

I say why does it have to be any?   Can't it be All?   For me, it is all of the above.

My dreams represent my will & my desires, my faults and my triumphs.  Ideas to help me with everyday situations (answers a la Charades), and messages from my divine self.

With that being said, my dreams have been extremely odd lately since i purchased a Lapis Lazuli necklace.   Not a bad kind of odd, but the kind of odd you where u wake up and scratch your head and say to yourself "What the hell was that?!?!"

Certain parts of my dreams i feel i have interpreted correctly.  Certain parts i'm still puzzled over, and yet others i can't help but do nothing but laugh at.  Don't think that means i'm discounting any part of my dream, but in retrospect its obvious that one can "look back & laugh".

Details of the dreams i won't get into in this particular blog.  I feel that any attempt to interpret it right now on my part would be nothing more than a knee jerk reaction that doesn't do myself justice.   Not to mention that depending on who reads this, a plethora of different opinions could appear.  Not that theres anything wrong with that, but within the Pagan community, as with any, theres always those who suffer from the "I'm right, you're wrong" syndrome.   You know the type.   "..Actually, the history of *insert topic here*, is like this *insert version of topic here*"  

I've noticed this is REALLY prevailent in the pagan community.  Especially among students, each one quotes their teachers teaching as fact and DOGMA.   Tsk tsk i say to that.  Leave Dogma for other faiths, and remember the Pagan principle of Karma.  Shall We?

But i digress.......